“There is no end of craving. Hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness."

This week for some reason I'm being contemplative, I'm thinking a lot about significance. Maybe that's because something is going to happen soon, I hope so. At any rate, this post is about mein vice.

Craving [ˈkreɪvɪŋ] n: an intense desire or longing.

There are lots of things I need to do, I don't care if I won't be happy its just something that needs to happen. I realize that craving would not make me happy but that's not the point of it, and I'm a pretty vain person, it might if only artificially but that's okay.

I'm ambitions, but I'm also lazy, I want to do a lot of things in my work, but that also includes having: fun/sex/intoxication/socialization/famous and beautiful friends.

I'm arrogant, or at least I've become arrogant, I'm no longer that kid that just wants to play modest punk music, I'm a person that wants to make big ambitious music like Queen (if Queen played punk music).

I no longer want to be in a "band", I no longer feel like I need help from anyone in making music, just my brother, we are now able to stand on our own and it feels like if we don't have complete control and have to compromise with a third party it would turn out worse.

My band is now a duo and I'd like to keep it that way. We've been slogging it out in my room for this whole year tightening up, with all of that work we've reached another level musically beyond where we are physically. We've been asking the same of anyone that was a part of what we are doing, only two people have been able to step up ability-wise, one diligence-wise.

I want to be good at art, not like Todd Schorr or Greg Simkins or anything, just respected.

I want people to appreciate what we do, and I want to appreciate them.

I am sounding incredibly self-righteous right now, I know. This is probably what selling-out is to most people, but I can't ignore the things I want out of life. I cannot do the normal 9-5 existence thing, its not my nature, and invariably that's what things would lead to. Ever since I was a kid I knew that's what I wanted, punk music forced me to repress that, but I was just conforming to everyone else. For me ambition is good, contentment is not, and I like that there are people in the world that focus on contentment, we need them, the world would be much more violent if there were more people like me.