The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.

Some fun books in my collection.

Quotations from Chairman LBJ - Jack Shepherd and Christopher S. Wren (?)
Inadvertendly, I have collected quite a bit of communist or socialist related books, including the inspiration for this one, the Quotations of Chairman Mao Tse-Tung english/chinese edition (OG from China). This one is strange to say the least, published in 1968 and obviously a satire of Chairman Mao, its filled with mostly humorous and out-of-context quotes from Lyndon B. Johnston; some threats, some analogies, some rough wisedom, its all there.

"I'm the only president you've got."

The Principia Discordia - Greg Hill (Malaclypse The Younger) and Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst)
When I heard about this one I special ordered it immediately. Its the proverbial "bible" of the Erisian philosophy (or anti-philosophy) and is as humorous as it is interesting. The design of the book reminds me of 80s punk flyers. The particular edition I have is the purple cover from 1991.

"Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, while down on earth we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them."

Doctor Rat - William Kotzwinkle
A book about scientific testing on animals from the animals perspective. I never heard of it or its author when I picked it up but the description on the back was enough for me. Yes there is a rat in the book, and he's a doctor, and he's insane. Its a commentary on man's relationship with nature, definite recommendation.

     Is that a scream I hear?
     Yes, it is, just down the row of cages. Shall we move along and take a few notes?
     "Help, help!"
     "Please, young fellow, there's no need to get so worked up about your little contribution to science. Have a bit of pressed biscuit before you die. Eat hearty and remember - death is freedom!"
     "What are they doing to me, Doctor Rat?"
     "Let me just check my notes ... yes, here we are. You'll be the tenth rat this week to have his brains sucked out by a pneumatic tube."
     "Help, help!"
     I comfort my fellow rats where I can. It requires psychological understanding, of course. And having been driven insane, I hold the necessary degree in psychology.

Maldoror - Comte de Lautreamont
One half of a series that was never completed (due to the authors untimely death) exposing the light and dark of human existence, this installment represented the darkness through the amoral and demented Maldoror which throughout the novel performs profain acts of evil. Written in the 1860s, it still has the intense power to repulse through the sheer weight of the main character encouraging you to do things like killing children and performing intercourse with a shark. His introduction was memorable as well, insulting you within the first page, challenging you to get through his entire book lest you be not  have enough fortitude to grasp his work.

     "Like those dogs, I feel the need for the infinite. I cannot, cannot satisfy this need. I am the son of a man and a woman, from what I have been told. This astonishes me . . . I believed I was something more. Besides, what does it matter to me where I come from? If I had any choice, I would rather have been born the male of a female shark, whose hunger welcomes tempests and of the tiger, whose cruelty is well-known."

The Abortion - Richard Brautigan
A book about a library which accepts and showcases any and all books submitted from anyone, and the librarian who impregnates a beautiful patron and takes her to Mexico for an abortion. Fun times from one of the lesser known contributors of the Beat Generation.

     "My God, ma'am, you're so pretty I'd walk ten miles barefooted on a freezing morning to stand in your shit."

The New Music -
If you can understand something like this...

Then you might have a chance at understanding that book. It was written in the 70s about 40s avante-garde and electronic music. I haven't had a chance to get to it yet, but I have a feeling that its going to be a little hard to grasp all the concepts.

Not The Bible - Sean Kelly, Tony Hendra
A satire of the bible, pretty rare book, pokes fun at fundamentalist interpretations.

 "Guns don't kill People, God kills People!"

The Message Given To Me By Extraterrestrials: They Took Me To Their Planet - Rael
A book from the Raelian movement that I found, founded by a french ex-racecar driver who believes that aliens came to earth to deliver what we now know as the philosophy of major religions to all the main prophets. Interesting to say the least from this cult.

     "Today, to talk to you.... We have been watching you for a long time.... I have used telepathy to get you to come here because I have many things to tell you.... Listen to me. You will tell humans the truth about what they are, and what we are."

Chemistry is just a word we use to describe what occurs when subtle changes in your mind make energy from common lives.

So this blog, whats it for? For what its worth, I'm not entirely sure. Honestly, I think its because I do not really talk to anyone, so the excess thoughts I have on my head I use this as a cesspool to collect them. Its uncomfortable a little, but less so then actually sitting eye-to-eye with you and telling you these things through sounds and not text. If you can get me to make prolonged eye contact with you then thats something else.

Also, attention. We all crave it, we all want it in one way, shape, or form, and I am of no exception, lets just put that out there. Call it some Psuedo-celebrity-ism thing if you will. I am an artist, I may be a crappy, generic, run-of-the-mill one living in LA, but I am one.

However I can't be completely honest here, half of everything I type gets deleted. Because if I go too long at it I realize how stupid it is and give it up.

(I'm finishing this one though)

But what does it matter, really?

So we played a show, and if any of you are musicians and have experienced this same thing maybe you can help me out. We played, and though we didn't (by my account and the accounts of others) do extremely badly, I felt awful. Like I just wanted to start bawling but I couldn't figure out why, and its happened after every performance we've done.

I feel like shit for the rest of the night.

I'm not sure if other performers experience the same thing, I think they might but I never really hear people talking about it, just the rush, the thrill, the excitement...

I tried to think about it (the reasons), but all that would come up are self-indulging reasons. Tortured artist... I don't know, we have enough of those.

I'm too pretentious, and I do not feel genuine, what do I know of angst? Or problems, all of them are in my head and they are not real. Depression, OCD, BDD, all these perceived realities of a life that I have that is by all accounts not terrible, just the chemistry in my head explained by freudian causasions. I have no reason to despise the people in my life, they are for all intents and purposes just people and they have flaws the same as me, I've done some pretty shitty things too.

I'm not sure about the point I'm trying to get across, I think that I am really just scared of everything. I'm here really wanting things to work but lacking the time/talent/energy/opportunities to do it and that bums me the fuck out.

We have another show coming up, and I'm not sure how much more of this band I am willing to take, its becoming more of a chore as opposed to a pleasure, and yet we haven't really done shit. I'm hoping its the chemistry in that, and not the body, because the insecurities and failures that tie in and feed that are overbearing.

But I need to remember this, "Imagine an artist who never lived, never died a million times, never drowned. That would be some fucking terrible generic, unthought out art."

Chemistry? Hopefully. Believe It Or Not I Care's days are probably numbered, the chemistry needs to be fixed.

The Post-Modern Prometheus

If you could at least pretend to show some concern, that would go a long way in helping.

[Insert quote here]

Just got back from San Diego, spent Christmas there with my honey and her family.

Here's what I got for Christmas:
- The Soft Machine by William S. Burroughs
- My Friend The Poet by Terrie Leigh Relf
- Incesticide, Nirvana
- An "F" in POLS 406 (A mistake, working it out in progress)
- $50 gift card (Going toward bills)
- Acoustic B200H [Head] and B410 [Cab] (A present to myself)

Pretty good, and I loved San Diego, I'll be putting up pictures soon enough documenting our adventure.

But its not like you care.

The dizzy epiphany discovered an artifact of my own, it's the little things that get us through life, I need a little escape.

Albums that have shaped the person I am.

No reason why, I just like lists.

[In no particular order]

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
One of those first albums you remember hearing, this album is one of those for me. From a CD my dad bought sometime in the 80s when CDs were first introduced and now keep in my own collection. Reminds me of night-time road trips under a canopy of in obscured starlight in some location with no landmarks but darkness and the silhouettes of some mountainous region in the distance.

Elton John - The One
Yes, not one of those albums that Elton will be remembered for, but it’s one of my favorites, to me there is not a bad song on the record. Also one of those first records I remember listening, I found a CD version of it recently in the clearance bin of a record store near my house for $1, a steal in my opinion, and much needed since I only had the cassette version of it. It’s the first record after Elton's struggle with alcohol, drugs, and bulimia and features Eric Clapton, David Gilmore, Pino Palladino, and Olle Romo.

Pink Floyd - Pulse
Another road trip record and a record I would listen to when I was young. Pink Floyd were pretty heavy for me, but none of the elementary school kids would get it, typically they would pass on my suggestions for party music when I would bring up Pink Floyd, wasn't cool I guess.

Supertramp - Crime Of The Century
This band was pretty important in my childhood, prog-rock and an interesting band as well no doubt. All the covers that bands (Goo-Goo Dolls, and does Gym Class Heroes count?) though are annoying, you've probably heard many songs from this band and not even know it was them.

Dead Kennedys - Give Me Convenience Or Give Me Death
The first punk rock record I ever heard back in 7th grade at the behest of a friend of mine with a strange fascination for the Viet Cong and AK-47s, back when there was no punk rock kids or punk rock fashion, it was just punk rock. It was outrageous to me, "To Drunk To Fuck" completely blew my mind, it seemed like they didn't care about the singing or the playing, I could hear the mistakes clearly on the record but it spoke to me, this was around the time of 9/11 and I was starting to feel the animosity of racism for the first time.

Fugazi - Repeater + 3 Songs
This was the first record that expanded my idea of where punk rock can go musically. I first got into Pink Floyd, punk deconstructed that for me, but Fugazi was the first that I heard which brought the ideas of classic rock back into the music of punk rock, albeit in a different way. Fugazi wasn't about the speed or the mosh-pits, it was about the music again and that started my turn into the musical taste I have now. A huge influence on me, Joe Lally is a massive influence on the way I play bass.

Minutemen - Double Nickels On The Dime
In my opinion, pound-for-pound, the greatest album of all time. Yes Sergeant Pepper's was a great record which unlimitedly influenced all music to come after it, but if we disregard that and just look at the weight of the album in regard to songs themselves, Double Nickels is better. Its 40+ songs, (not a bad or even just okay song in the batch, all amazing) with half of the album written in only a couple weeks upon learning that Husker Du's upcoming record Zen Arcade was to be a double album, the greatest result of one-upsmanship I personally have ever heard ("Take that Huskers" in the linear notes). A huge influence in every way, Mike Watt is also one of those bassists that shaped the way I play today.

Crass - Stations Of The Crass
Another punk band that took my idea of punk and changed it. Poetic, biting, and weird sounding, they had a strange musical approach that was more influenced by classical music and David Bowie then anything "punk". Pete Wright completes the trifecta of bassists that influences the way I play.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
People might take me the wrong way, I'm not trying to copy the way Kurt Cobain sings, I try to copy the way Karen O sings, because I adore her. This band showed me that you can be artistic with a heavy underground and musical background and be a successful mainstream act as well. In my opinion, they are the most talented act out there right now, and are absolutely amazing in every way. I love all their records, but I had to choose this particular one because it was my first foray into their world.

No Age - Nouns
I tried these guys out, learning about them approximately 3 days before they hit MTV, and while I didn't know much about noise rock at the time I learned that I liked it. It was like an abstract painting, it was good to not have the implicit meaning thrown in my face and to just feel the expression in what sounded like distortion grinding against metal over poppy SST influenced punk rock. Oh and Randy Randall is just about the coolest guy, though I haven't seen No Age yet live, I had the priviledge of seeing Randy put a solo guitar performance in a DIY art gallery that I volunteer at, that was an experience, and there was only about 5 people there, I was expecting a bigger crowd but its their loss.

Nirvana - In Utero
All said Nirvana is still an influence on me; I would be lying if I said that they do not affect me musically in any way. Kurt Cobain speaks to me, yes it may now be the 21st century, but I still feel as crappy as everyone else did in the early 90s, so what if Green Day is the soundtrack to our times, they are not as musically daring as Nirvana was, a complete anomily of mainstream music that will probably not happen again.

Fucked Up - The Chemistry Of Common Life
Finally something like this blew my way, it was about time someone took the idea of taking Poison Idea and Pink Floyd and putting them together. Damian is also a ridiculously cool guy, giving me 20 minutes of his time to just stand outside of the Smell and talk.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced
It's not necessarily his guitar chops that I listen to, (while they are amazing, but that I do not need to say) its his expression with the guitar. He played it as more then a guitar, he painted with it and he was a goddamn great painter at that. Everything he did with it was incredible, the blues, the rock, the noise...I try to emulate that with bass (at only a minute fraction of anything that he ever did, but someday I hope that it can come close to a marginally decent proportion).

Notable Entries:

Mastodon - Leviathan
Thank you Mastodon, I took a complete dive on this record having not previously heard any of their material but thinking that the album artwork was too ridiculously good for the music to be bad, and my assumption was correct.

Depeche Mode - Songs Of Faith And Devotion
Although Depeche Mode never really stuck on me as intensily as Elton John or Pink Floyd as a child, this record along with Violator was still something that I heard a lot as a kid.

Civil Disobedience - In A Few Hours Of Madness
My favorite 7", its crust punk, but its strangly atmospheric, and unlike any other crust punk that I've heard.

The Lion King - Soundtrack
It won an academy award for a reason.

Jimmy Page And Robert Plant - No Quarter: Jimmy Page And Robert Plant Unledded
My first listening experience with Led Zepplin-esque material. This is the last entry I'm making for a album that I heard a lot as a kid, I swear.

Michael Jackson - Thriller
I'm aware of the sudden boom of interest in his music after his death, but really he deserves it, and I owe my existence to Michael, if it were not for Thriller my parents would have gotten divorced before I was even born (long story).

Animals, animals, and animals, and animals.

Making flyers, this one is going to be a collage.

I like to use Ernst Haeckel's work actually for a lot of it and for a few reasons:

(1) I love the style, its reminicent of old museums and biology books which I love.

(2) Its public domain, all of it, so its all online and easy to access with no concerns about copyrights.

(3) Its large, highly detailed, and easy to cut up.

I know he's a racist douche, but his art is still great, so it seems only fair that eveyone has unrestricted access to his work. Maybe this will be his way of giving back for his codswallop theories about "polygenism".

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Kunstformen_der_Natur

Be As The Trees

I spoke with the golden camel
And he told me to be as the trees
Take nothing from someone who has taken from me.


The first reference here is, "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" by Friedrich Nietzsche which describes such themes as the "death of god", the Ubermensch, morality, etc, etc. The "golden camel" is Zoroaster, which his name roughly translates into golden camel. Furthermore this translation was picked to pay homage to "Gold Lion" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, which is one of my personal favorite songs and of which had shamanic qualities that I wanted to emulate.
Trees throughout history have generally symbolized life, death, decay, and resurrection, however being as a tree means a few things in this context, first it refers to ancient beliefs and particularly Buddhist beliefs that trees can be a conduit from which demons and spirits can exist in. Taking in this case thus refers to the individuals making an atonement before cutting the tree to make sure that the tree does not take from the individual (such as wealth). The second reference here is a biblical one, from Ezekiel 15:6 which states that Jerusalem has become a vine among trees, and is thusly punished, with trees having many uses and vines not. The third reference is from the childhoods book The Giving Tree which tells of a selfless tree, which gives everything is has with no materialistic return from the taker. In essence being as the tree is to be unselfish, bringing one closer to the Ubermensch.


In the valley the thousand snake
Turned to bone and died
Your snake may be dead but mine is still alive.


Snakes too have heavy symbolist overtones. The thousand snake refers to the Yamata no Orochi, a massive 8-headed serpent said to be the size of a valley which has taken one daughter from the "Earthly Deities" for seven years and was then about to take the eighth before he is killed by the Japanese storm god Susanoo. The snake that is still alive is Mucalinda which protected the Buddha for 7 days from a storm as he meditated. Mucalinda is also used in Aldous Huxley's novel Island to represent the "communion of humans and nature." The snake that has died refers to snakes used in mythology in negative views, an example being the snake that tempted Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis. Furthermore, there is a heavy relationship between trees and snakes in mythology, typically with the snake protecting or coiled around any given Tree of Life and such.


She's a death angel and your a god too
But even space has its limits
And you still could cross them, could you?

There is no implicit reference here, but a vague kind of meaning can be individuals thinking that they are of the high order of man, engaging in animalistic acts of rape and sexual harrassment, this passage serves to introduce corruption in this narrative.

So as you grow, let the roots take hold of you
Its the only thing that you can allow to happen
And it hurts to know, that our lives mean nothing
We are just termites compared to Doctor Manhattan
And its something that I could never reach
Even through my snake because god is dead
To this end, sons of Cain
Make it the trend
Or so the golden said.

This passage is one of realization, in that we are verily incapable of achieving the higher state, where the verse was declaring what would be wanted, this one admits that its not possible, even with the help of Mucalinda are we incapable of reaching a higher state of enlightenment as did Buddha. The roots here, referring to evil, states it as an inevitablity.
Dr. Manhattan, of course, is the character from the Watchmen comic books as an example of an Ubermensch, or 'Superman', with the line "we are just termites" a reference to the line from the comic in which Dr. Manhatten says to Ozymandias, "And this world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite." This serves as a conversation between Ubermensch and man. The sons of Cain is another biblical reference, to which Cain murders his brother Abel, and is thus cursed to wander the earth as all humans are, uncapable of achieving the next step as is done in Childhood's End where man is allowed to leave Earth upon reaching the next step in evolution.

Of course, this is just a interpretation, I wrote this to be vague for a reason, so that each person can fill in their own puzzle pieces, and I have heard a few different ones. I discourage individuals reading my interpretation and thinking that it is the be-all-end-all.