"For my part, champagne doesn't cheer me up, it makes me very sad."

I'm pretty sure no one really reads this. Its helps though because I don't really talk to people much.

If you do though, follow the blog, it helps morale.

It reminds me though of a scene I saw last night on the "Walking Dead".

"I think I'll blow my brains out tomorrow."

I'm not going to by the way. I haven't figured out yet if I like the show, not that I'm waiting for that.

Point is I'm not contemplating suicide.

I resolved to paint during thanksgiving break, but it didn't happen. Somehow, and I do not know how, I didn't have time, even though I didn't do much, isn't life funny? When I am in situations that I want to get through quickly time slows to a grind, and when I need time to slow down it doesn't. I have the canvas lined up, the graphite paper bought, even a fucking stylus. Oh well, maybe tomorrow as always.

Music seems to be getting though, finally, this might work. My bass playing is getting better too, that's the good thing about art, you never stop getting better. And I snapped another string, my brother says I am the only person he knows to regularly snap bass strings.

Not the 4th string (at 110 mm) this time (a major achievement, like a trophy), the 3rd (at 90mm), however, I do not have the proper size to replace it with, I've had to use a spare 80mm which makes the 3rd and 2nd strings look almost the same size, (which they are technically with the 2nd at 70mm) but it looks funny and doesn't really sound good.

At any rate, I'm applying to grad school, and life is funny. I went from a punk barely getting through high school (summer and winter classes are a life-saver) to actually applying to grad school. It would be even funnier if I got in. I even had to mention that I'm not their typical applicant, but I have good work ethics. I'm only applying to places near the beach, no point in making myself depressed, and though I applied to UCLA, I wouldn't be sad if I had to leave L.A. for awhile. Santa Cruz looks really nice, so does Santa Barbara and San Diego. I'm just worried about my girlfriend though, there is a critical bridge that needs to be crossed, I hope we'll be ready for it.

Not sure why I have to be near the beach, I guess somewhere like Riverside would leave me trapped, land-locked. The ocean gives me a sense of an escape route, even though it isn't really...But it feels like it. Like if I needed to drop everything and become a pirate I can. Not the Somali kind, the Johnny Depp kind.

I'm rambling, but I feel like we are friends now, I can talk to you, even though you do not exist in my universe.

[If you followed me though you will.]

Consider this post the copulation of consciousnesses, the unfertilized egg awaiting the semen of camaraderie.

Birth yourself in my universe, even if its but a distant orbital visage.