"The writer is either a practicing recluse or a delinquent, guilt-ridden one; or both. Usually both."

Its rare that people try to talk to me. Its gotten to a point where I can hardly respond when they do. The barista said she liked my shirt, "Thanks." Someone asked if I had seen the movie of Trainspotting, "No, I make a case to read the book before the movie." ALWAYS END OF CONVERSATION.

Its unfortunate, I wish I had more desire to connect with people but its too awkward and difficult. I have friends, but either they completely understand this aspect and do not take my reclusiveness as offensive or ignore it and carry the weight themselves through an assertive personality, which I appriciate, either way its an effort, but these people are few in between. Parties are difficult, get-togethers are difficult, love is difficult.

I called a friend recently, first sentence was, "This must be important."

I am not offended, I kind of like that, because I do not really like to fuck around, even though I try and force myself to so I can have some semblence of a normal life.

Well it is what it is, what disturbs me is that I feel that time is very short, I don't have a lot of it to waste on trying to be out with people. I am under the constant feeling that I am late and that I have to get doing now. But that never happens, same old same old.

But I have plenty to spend here.

I just feel weird.



I finished Fear and Loathing today, loved it, I wish I was as insane as Hunter S. Thompson.