A Dozen Songs From The John Wayne Gacy Choir Couldn’t Make Him Uncomfortable.

And what, say cherie?
Does that frown mean on your t-shirt that says,
He’s the most ammoral fuck that she’ll ever see

Not speaking of a James Bond actor
Because he's the only one good enough to hold an opinion
That's worth half a fuck when he holds that shit to a candle

And he...

Hoping his friends would kill themselves so
There can be that pain without
Having any marks on his own fucking
Neck that must stay fixed

For fun, he won't kill his friends but he kills dogs.
So what can I say to this guy that
I know I understand
But it scares me that I do

Well, no, I can always pretend that I don't.

Theres a dozen songs from the John Wayne Gacy Choir that couldn't make him uncomfortable

So why should it I?
It doesn't creep me out.

But its cool, I'm fine, don't ask.

////////

I won a writing contest, I am a writer!

Also the title is inspired by a conversation I had with Damian Abraham from Fucked Up, he said I should use John Wayne Gacy Choir as a band name, didn't fit with what we sound like buuut I liked the ring of it so I wanted to use it somehow.

"The writer is either a practicing recluse or a delinquent, guilt-ridden one; or both. Usually both."

Its rare that people try to talk to me. Its gotten to a point where I can hardly respond when they do. The barista said she liked my shirt, "Thanks." Someone asked if I had seen the movie of Trainspotting, "No, I make a case to read the book before the movie." ALWAYS END OF CONVERSATION.

Its unfortunate, I wish I had more desire to connect with people but its too awkward and difficult. I have friends, but either they completely understand this aspect and do not take my reclusiveness as offensive or ignore it and carry the weight themselves through an assertive personality, which I appriciate, either way its an effort, but these people are few in between. Parties are difficult, get-togethers are difficult, love is difficult.

I called a friend recently, first sentence was, "This must be important."

I am not offended, I kind of like that, because I do not really like to fuck around, even though I try and force myself to so I can have some semblence of a normal life.

Well it is what it is, what disturbs me is that I feel that time is very short, I don't have a lot of it to waste on trying to be out with people. I am under the constant feeling that I am late and that I have to get doing now. But that never happens, same old same old.

But I have plenty to spend here.

I just feel weird.



I finished Fear and Loathing today, loved it, I wish I was as insane as Hunter S. Thompson.

"Sisyphus is the happiest man alive."

I had an idea that graffitti, particularly writing on the wall is some form of existential crisis.


Think of it in the context of, "If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Well, if I do not write this on a wall, do you know that I exist? Do I exist in your reality? Do I exist at all?

Bullshit. Anomie.

The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.

Some fun books in my collection.

Quotations from Chairman LBJ - Jack Shepherd and Christopher S. Wren (?)
Inadvertendly, I have collected quite a bit of communist or socialist related books, including the inspiration for this one, the Quotations of Chairman Mao Tse-Tung english/chinese edition (OG from China). This one is strange to say the least, published in 1968 and obviously a satire of Chairman Mao, its filled with mostly humorous and out-of-context quotes from Lyndon B. Johnston; some threats, some analogies, some rough wisedom, its all there.

"I'm the only president you've got."

The Principia Discordia - Greg Hill (Malaclypse The Younger) and Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst)
When I heard about this one I special ordered it immediately. Its the proverbial "bible" of the Erisian philosophy (or anti-philosophy) and is as humorous as it is interesting. The design of the book reminds me of 80s punk flyers. The particular edition I have is the purple cover from 1991.

"Heaven is down. Hell is up. This is proven by the fact that the planets and stars are orderly in their movements, while down on earth we come close to the primal chaos. There are four other proofs, but I forget them."

Doctor Rat - William Kotzwinkle
A book about scientific testing on animals from the animals perspective. I never heard of it or its author when I picked it up but the description on the back was enough for me. Yes there is a rat in the book, and he's a doctor, and he's insane. Its a commentary on man's relationship with nature, definite recommendation.

     Is that a scream I hear?
     Yes, it is, just down the row of cages. Shall we move along and take a few notes?
     "Help, help!"
     "Please, young fellow, there's no need to get so worked up about your little contribution to science. Have a bit of pressed biscuit before you die. Eat hearty and remember - death is freedom!"
     "What are they doing to me, Doctor Rat?"
     "Let me just check my notes ... yes, here we are. You'll be the tenth rat this week to have his brains sucked out by a pneumatic tube."
     "Help, help!"
     I comfort my fellow rats where I can. It requires psychological understanding, of course. And having been driven insane, I hold the necessary degree in psychology.

Maldoror - Comte de Lautreamont
One half of a series that was never completed (due to the authors untimely death) exposing the light and dark of human existence, this installment represented the darkness through the amoral and demented Maldoror which throughout the novel performs profain acts of evil. Written in the 1860s, it still has the intense power to repulse through the sheer weight of the main character encouraging you to do things like killing children and performing intercourse with a shark. His introduction was memorable as well, insulting you within the first page, challenging you to get through his entire book lest you be not  have enough fortitude to grasp his work.

     "Like those dogs, I feel the need for the infinite. I cannot, cannot satisfy this need. I am the son of a man and a woman, from what I have been told. This astonishes me . . . I believed I was something more. Besides, what does it matter to me where I come from? If I had any choice, I would rather have been born the male of a female shark, whose hunger welcomes tempests and of the tiger, whose cruelty is well-known."

The Abortion - Richard Brautigan
A book about a library which accepts and showcases any and all books submitted from anyone, and the librarian who impregnates a beautiful patron and takes her to Mexico for an abortion. Fun times from one of the lesser known contributors of the Beat Generation.

     "My God, ma'am, you're so pretty I'd walk ten miles barefooted on a freezing morning to stand in your shit."

The New Music -
If you can understand something like this...

Then you might have a chance at understanding that book. It was written in the 70s about 40s avante-garde and electronic music. I haven't had a chance to get to it yet, but I have a feeling that its going to be a little hard to grasp all the concepts.

Not The Bible - Sean Kelly, Tony Hendra
A satire of the bible, pretty rare book, pokes fun at fundamentalist interpretations.

 "Guns don't kill People, God kills People!"

The Message Given To Me By Extraterrestrials: They Took Me To Their Planet - Rael
A book from the Raelian movement that I found, founded by a french ex-racecar driver who believes that aliens came to earth to deliver what we now know as the philosophy of major religions to all the main prophets. Interesting to say the least from this cult.

     "Today, to talk to you.... We have been watching you for a long time.... I have used telepathy to get you to come here because I have many things to tell you.... Listen to me. You will tell humans the truth about what they are, and what we are."

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions."

So I've had this pedal for a little bit now.

And I'm starting to think about the applications, the way I have been using it right now has been mostly that of a distortion pedal, not much with the party feature (the feedbacker part) although I do on some occasions to create a more atmospheric effect. Another way I have been using it was with the DS-1 distortion pedal, essentially just turning them both on at the same time and making actual feedback.

The potential I think is impressive.

I'm going to try and write a simple pop song, with little more then the hum of this pedal as a start.

March 19th

Troubled Coast dropped out, but now were playing with Fed Up, Badmouth, Ballistic Rounds! Come to it if your reading this, it will be a good show.

Hūsker Dū?

My first ever personal experience with a panda. Charming isn't it?

A universal reminder to us all.

They totally were.

We didn't see what car God drives.