First rule of Tyler Durden, you do not dress like Tyler Durden.

I'm not going to put up the photographic proof, but google it.

I bought the pants (see previous post [not about bugs]). Expensive, but still cheaper than anywhere else, got them at a special price. They are not quite as dramatic as the picture on the website, but I think that'll change with age, (they already appear to be doing so).
Clothes for boys are very boring, and fucking overpriced. Yes, I noticed. I was in Forever 21 just a few days ago with Katie...$20 for girl's skinny jeans...That's with flower print too (something different). I have to pay $40 for one pair of Levi's, plain. I looked at the men's section tucked away in the darkest corner of the store (probably because all of the dark clothes sucked the light away, and thats Forever 21, which as you may know is made to look like the spaceship in 2001: A Space Odyssey), seemed like only 1/50th the selection as compared the girls and nothing I didn't already have in some other form/brand or have seen before. So, I want to know what the deal is here. Not that I buy a whole lot of shit at the mall, but still, sometimes I need a pair of goddamn jeans right away and I can't wait to find one at Goodwill or Marshall's.

Overall, it seems that clothes for boys are 2-3x as much, and they are mostly extremely dull so I'm getting less for what I pay for.

At any rate I also got this on amazon.

Pretty swag I think, and only $8, I'm calling it my "Rrreech Bitch" belt, totally zef. If anyone has a recommendation or two for good fashion blogs that are (though not necessarily exclusively) for guys, not overbearingly hipster, NOT offensively douchey/macho (some of the shirts on amazon were shocking in the assholery), and interesting, hit me up on it. Also any brands that are cool. I like beta unit, but they are expensive and I'd like to mix it up. Also maybe something with more color? Maybe? I mean, I would like options, sometimes black/white/grey/sometimes blue gets boring and I want to throw something in that's bright, I don't know maybe that's stupid and I don't realize it.

"It's a Kafka high. You feel like a bug."

Recurring theme in my life right now...Turning into insects.

I've been reading "The Metamorphosis" by Kafka and "A Scanner Darkly" by Philip K. Dick.
I've watched "The Fly", and "Naked Lunch".

All of these in a span of a couple months. Perhaps this is a time of transformation, I feel like things are changing.

"Walk walk fashion baby, work it move that thing crazy."

Only when something is of last season's line do I want it. Beta Unit is an independent label that I've been eyeing recently. Kind of a 90's grunge-alt-computerized-post apacolyptic feel to it. I really love their skinny jeans especially (spit-fit as they refer to it). I'm trying to get my hands on this...

Sold out on amazon just as I got the gift certificate. I hate it when that happens. I tried contacting the company, because I'm desperate and can't afford the full price, I'll have to see where that goes.
Also I've been exercising again. I'm trying to cut weight and be slimmer. I looked at my pants from high school and it was depressing to see how tiny I was. I used to be a 29 easy. Now I'm a struggling 32 (probably more accurately a 34 but I can't handle the truth).

I really fucking love those pants. But I can't afford them any other way. Fashion hurts when you're fat and poor.

"It was a wild decade. The Gulf War was over once and for all, a struggling artist named Matt Groening hit it big with Futurama, and young people had faith in their dreams thanks to a little show called Melrose Place."

I chose Whitney Houston's version of the National Anthem because of the symbolism.

All songs were released in 1991.

Smashing Thumpkins? Someone get Steve Oedekerk on that.

"He drove his kind of realism at me so hard I bounced right into nonobjective painting."

I'm Jackson Pollock.
Brain-matter on concrete.

I dream in slasher-movies.

A group of scientists (not sure what kind) stuck on a ship. Killed sort-of in a "Saw" way, though I've never seen the series. Its too realistic for me, I prefer the David Cronenberg campy-violence fashion.
Also I do not like the impersonal slaughter in movies, I get to thinking too much about the person being murdered and before that sets in its on to the next person. Like cows in a beef processing plant. That's why "Doctor Rat" was such a good book, you get pigs philosophizing while on the conveyor belt.

Anyway two of the scientists had the opportunity to escape with a lifeboat, however they couldn't just walk to it, they were on the deck but could not just walk to the lifeboat, they had to stay such-and-such feet away and find a way to get in it.


The pants I want to buy over amazon has just lowered in price. However there are only 4 left which is why I'm not going to say which pants they are (sorry). I just need to cut down to a size 30 waist (as it is, I'm somewhere between 34-32) and I need to get that gift certificate (which will hopefully come soon). If this works out, I can score $180 pants for less than half-off.

"Rather be dead than cool."

I fail to understand why everyone is like, "grunge grungy grunge flannel" about the 90's.

Fabulous.

"If I'd known it was harmless I would have killed it myself."

I admit, despite November sucking, it was the most interesting month with the most interesting things I had to say.

Bear with me, I'm also in a "destroy everything" phase right now.

A little more Fight Club, a little less American Beauty.

I completed a little evaluatory test yesterday for me to be compensated in $75 worth of Amazon swag. Ever much the pirate, I am eyeing these...



Furthermore my grad school prospects are looking slim, only UCSB remains to make a decision. So we'll see how that goes.

The demo is being worked on, I've hit a snag. Frusterating as that is its a process I suppose.

I'm reading Philip K. Dick's "A Scanner Darkly" and I'm fully entrenched into that, its really good. Also a little like Fight Club in a way...

“Probably he should have regretted his decision. He had not. That life had been one without excitement, with no adventure. It had been too safe. All the elements that made it up were right there before his eyes, and nothing new could ever be expected. It was like, he had once thought, a little plastic boat that would sail on forever, without incident, until it finally sank, which would be a secret relief to all.”

What else in my pathetic boring life is there to say? This post is just filler.